I need some motivation to care about my fitness.

I really feel like depression is taking over my life. Sigh. I should go back to therapy in the spring..

Well. I'll try my best to keep this blog running related. But this had to spew I suppose.

Since taking nearly a month off of running I am definitely slower. Not only that.. I put on about 7lbs over the course of the semester. I'm not really proud of that but it's time to get back on track. I registered for a race on January 8th and sadly my goal time will be 40 minutes (What I started at when I first started running last summer). It's okay. I just have to back track, work on my eating habits, incorporate some ab work in there and maybe it won't be such a bad event. :)

It just really stinks. I was running 3 miles in 35 minutes over the semester. Now today I barely got through a mile and a half in about 25 minutes. That is just really sad to my own ego.

I have to keep telling myself it'll be okay or it really won't be okay. I need to believe in myself. I need to start somewhere again. Everyone started somewhere and everyone messes up once in a while. I just had a really stressful semester and it did pay off with an overall GPA of 3.92 but now I want to spend this month thinking about myself and my health. Not my friends. Not my ex. Just me. Just me this month.

I will be the runner I want to be.

OH YEAH

About to get back into it!!

Going out on the road tonight. :)

I am also reading this book while home for the winter. So excited!

Keep a training log, seriously!

Okay. I just wanted to blog about the importance and benefits of keeping a training log.

I personally have kept a training log ever since I started running. I write down my route, distance ran, time taken, my pace, and how I felt that day. It has been so beneficial to keep a record of all of this! Last week I was feeling particularly unmotivated to do anything. I didn't want to go running, I didn't want to go to zumba.. NOTHING. I just wanted to lay down and sleep all day. Plus, I also thought that since I took off so much time from running that I was going to be a slow poke and not be able to make it my normal distance or anything.

Well, I decided to put on my shoes and go. I ran a shortened version of my route and when I got back I felt energized and alive. Then, I looked at my watch and realized it was also one of my fastest times. I went to log this into my book and realized that I was getting faster and faster. All the days I felt negatively about my runs and that I wasn't improving at all and that I was a turtle.. I looked through my log and realized how much progress I have made in just 2 months! I have cut nearly minutes off of some of my routes and I have realized how much my mood has improved right when I get back from a run.

So, if you aren't keeping a log.. You totally should! It is amazing.. especially during those down times where you feel like you're not moving anywhere (literally).

I use the training log I got with my subscription to Runners World but I also use mapmyrun.com to log all of my running based workouts. :)

I am so so bored at the office I figure I should update. I just wish they would let me go home and go back to sleep if they had nothing for me to do.

Well.. I am honestly dreading the winter months that are coming up. I went to try running on the treadmill on Wednesday and I hated it so much. I became so dizzy and disoriented and I had no motivation. I couldn't concentrate on the music I was listening to (since I don't normally listen to my iPod on the road) and I also couldn't keep my posture straight. I kept looking down at the time on the treadmill and becoming so obsessive about it. It was terrible. Plus.. there's just so many other people running around me. I'm so used to being out there alone on the road with the occasional runner passing by here and there. I felt like I was being watched and judge because I'm fat. :( I only made it 2 miles before I felt nauseous enough and fed up with it.

I want to keep running through the winter but we get snow really bad up here and it gets super cold. I don't really know what I'm going to do. It's really worrying me lately.

I am super tired as well. My sleep has been out of whack and I feel exhausted all the time. I can't wait to get out of work so that I can go eat and take a nap. It's about all I'm looking forward to doing today. Yesterday was such a long day meeting my first graders and being out in the schools again. I just wish I was a teacher fulltime already.

I have my race on Sunday but I don't feel so motivated or excited about it. Maybe because no one really donated all that much money to sponsor me and the cause. I'm still going to go and try to have a great time and possibly PR my 5k race pace but yeh. Meh. I'm hoping the excitement will come soon.

Looking into registering for the turkey trot 5k in Coney Island when I go home for Thanksgiving. We'll see how that goes.

Well.. this didn't really kill all that much time now did it? I'm so exhausted. I just wanna lay my head on the desk and fall asleeeeeeeep.

I had my first fall last night. I was about a quarter mile into my run when my sneaker got caught on a mound of dirt which sent me like a projectile forward. I scraped my knee and my elbow pretty badly. It was weird.. I sat there on the floor for a few minutes. I checked my Garmin watch to make sure it wasn't broken. I was upset that there was a hole in the elbow of my new running jacket which has cost a ton. Then I got up.. was getting ready to walk back but then I turned around and kept going. I just wanted to run and I felt like I was wasting it by just 'giving up'. It wasn't the best idea but somehow I finished my 3 mile route. :( Went to my friends room afterwards and told him I fell and he went with me to my room to patch me up.

Now I'm limping all over the place. Looks like I might be off the road for a bit.. Hopefully not too long since I have a race on Oct 17th. We'll see.. I'm considering still going to the gym and maybe just doing the elliptical and some super low impact stuff.

Going to definitely do some yoga tonight. Need to release the tension I feel in my body.. especially in my arms. Plus.. I think I need some peaceful activity after last night.

So. This has been a stressfull month for school. I have had a lot of work to do to prepare for student teaching next semester. I also had to pick up a job so that I could make some extra money and attempt to save for a car or at least for the car insurance I'll need to give my friend if we share her car.

I really need to stop overeating. Can I just put that out there? It has been really getting in the way of my ability to really lose weight. With the amount of exercise I have been doing I should be dropping pounds. But no. I keep eating so much that it never happens. :P

Anywho. I now run 3 miles consistently for my runs during the week. That's up from the 2.50 I had myself doing. I just really pushed myself to the 3 throughout this month and now it's become the norm. I'm thinking of trying to squeeze it up to 3.25 and then 3.50 and that would be my goal for October is 3.5 miles consistently. :) I do still want to work on improving my speed and I know that'll come with more fartlek and long runs.

I'm participating in a 5k on October 17th. I can't wait. I haven't felt this confident about a 5k in a while. I'm just really excited to have another bib in my collection. It's really motivational seeing all of it.

I'm also below 200lbs! I am now part of the 100s club. :)

I hope I inspire people that you can be a runner at any weight.. You just have to start really slow, push yourself, and believe.