Looks like I won't be running my Brooklyn Bridge 5k. My job makes me work on Sundays and since I just started last week.. I definitely can't already ask for a personal day off. Hopefully I get an afternoon shift that day because sometimes it varies and I'll be able to make the run in the morning.. Only thing that sucks is that I can't pre-register because I don't want to spend the money if I'm not running it.

Speaking of work..

It has made it increasingly difficult to work out at all. I worked out 1 day last week and that was a pathetic run. I haven't run since. My work schedule is making me work the night shift and I'm not a morning exercise person at all. I'm going to have to figure something out and start scheduling in my runs and my workouts earlier in the day. Maybe I can squeeze them in before work but I don't like the idea of having to bring my sweaty gym clothes to work since they check everything in our bags and it'd be pretty embarrassing to have my sweaty underwear and stuff in there. Gross. But, I promise myself that this week I will at least try for 3 workouts. Let's see how that goes. I'm so used to worked out 5-6 days a week.. but if I can squeeze in 3 runs/gym workouts and maybe do some yoga with the Wiifit and Netflix at home it won't be so bad. When I get my bike to ride to the gym or the track my workouts will become a lot easier since I won't waste nearly 45 mins walking to and from the gym or the track/dirt trail (easier on my shins which I really need right now).

Other than that my weightloss has been slow. I'm having a really hard time controlling my diet and sticking to my healthy foods. I will promise myself to get back on track again. I need to stop eating my feelings and giving into temptation.

Chronic shin splints..

Every time I really get into running.. the shin splints return. I try to be good. I try to give myself rest. I try to watch my form. I take anti-inflammatorys. I ice my shins. But they keep returning. I get really bummed out. I know I have to take time off and seriously cut back on mileage but I'm really addicted again and I love going out. I went out in the rain today and felt great. The streets were basically empty and I felt awesome but the shin pain became too much every time I took a walk break.

I'm going to do more cross-training at the gym this week on the elliptical, do some yoga/pilates, and some cycling.. but nothing beats running. I think I may just limit myself to 1.5 miles on my run days. Is that still too much? I just feel like I can't keep myself off the road that long. I promise I will do my 1.5mi on the dirt trail. I sweaaaar. Just don't keep me off the road. :( I swear I won't run on cement this week..

Sigh. I just really feel like running is the time where my brain gets some time to be free. I over think and analyze every little thing in my life (which is one of the main reasons I have major depressive disorder) because I can't turn my brain off. When I'm running.. I can get a break. The only thing I focus on then is my pace, stride, breathing, and if that bike is going to hit me or if I'll make it across the street before the stoplight changes. I don't wanna lose it. Plus, I want to PR my 5k time at the Brooklyn Bridge 5k run I'm doing next month.

But.. I do understand I need to rest. I wish I could have a perfect stride, perfect weight, perfect everything so that I don't end up with an overuse injury..