Chronic shin splints..

Every time I really get into running.. the shin splints return. I try to be good. I try to give myself rest. I try to watch my form. I take anti-inflammatorys. I ice my shins. But they keep returning. I get really bummed out. I know I have to take time off and seriously cut back on mileage but I'm really addicted again and I love going out. I went out in the rain today and felt great. The streets were basically empty and I felt awesome but the shin pain became too much every time I took a walk break.

I'm going to do more cross-training at the gym this week on the elliptical, do some yoga/pilates, and some cycling.. but nothing beats running. I think I may just limit myself to 1.5 miles on my run days. Is that still too much? I just feel like I can't keep myself off the road that long. I promise I will do my 1.5mi on the dirt trail. I sweaaaar. Just don't keep me off the road. :( I swear I won't run on cement this week..

Sigh. I just really feel like running is the time where my brain gets some time to be free. I over think and analyze every little thing in my life (which is one of the main reasons I have major depressive disorder) because I can't turn my brain off. When I'm running.. I can get a break. The only thing I focus on then is my pace, stride, breathing, and if that bike is going to hit me or if I'll make it across the street before the stoplight changes. I don't wanna lose it. Plus, I want to PR my 5k time at the Brooklyn Bridge 5k run I'm doing next month.

But.. I do understand I need to rest. I wish I could have a perfect stride, perfect weight, perfect everything so that I don't end up with an overuse injury..